Power of POWER

Heared of wrong decisions made by people on POWER... Generally I had blamed the person on the position for the same. But an experience changed my perspective on it.

Often I do cycling on early morning. On the way i do get security checked by many dogs. Some screen me, some just bark, some run towards me and maintain safe distance (for both), and few chase me. Most of the occassions casual discussion while driving is enough to calm them. But some needs special attention, where i need to stop my cycle and prove them that I am not a threat.

On one such ride, my cycle's chain got disengaged. To avoid hands getting dirty, i used a stick nearby to fix it and continued my cycling. I carried the stick with me on the trip to meet such demands on the way.

The stick also boosted my feeling of powerful (I do not know why!). On the way when dogs barked at me, rather than initiating discussion, i felt annoyed. When more dogs did the same on the way, I got irritated and even thought of using the stick to drive them. It was not my usual way of handling the situation.

At that moment, i realized that a small stick gave me a sence of power that inturn made me too rude.

Till then, I thought that only person on power make mistakes but never thought that even sense of being powerful drives towards mistake...

Welcoming your views....

When do I negotiate?

 

Referring to my earlier blog on “Power of POWER”, I had mentioned an instance where I thought of using a stick on a barking dog rather than a dialogue which I normally do.

Adding to the through of Power, a question cropped in my mind on “Negotiation”. When do I or with whom do I normally initiate negotiation?

Mostly I feel of initiating negotiation on below situation

1.    When the other party has equal opportunity to win or has a favourable situation than       me.
2.    When I feel weaker than the other or the other person is powerful than me.
3.    When the other person is important to me.
4.    When the outcome of my action must be in my favour and where many other                  possibilities can happen which is not desired.

5.    To hide my fear and panic within me.

Reconnecting with the instance of barking dog, I use to initiate a dialogue by stopping my cycle, when I encountered a barking dog fearing its bite, and to display a false image of fearless guy. But once I got a stick in hand, the sense of power gave me more chance to win and a thought of violence or power took over.

A question to me from the thought………Can I negotiate even when I am powerful, even when I have most possibility to win, even when the other person is unknown and has no significant impact on me?

Handling Toxic People with Traditional Approach

 

In South India, Kolam (Rangoli) is drawn every day at entrance of house. Traditionally rice flour is used for the same. On thinking on its purpose, I could infer that it’s a process of keeping ants engaged outside the house so that they do not enter our house/disturb our daily life.

Though ants cannot be defined as toxic but when they disturb our business they are truly toxic at least to us. Can we have a similar approach with people who we feel toxic?

Avoiding or trying to eliminate toxic people may be too toxic. Instead, can we keep them engaged externally on any means so that they do not disturb our business or life?

Point to Ponder…………

Life is a Game...

I had good time watching my children playing chess. On watching the game i could connect on the game and life together. The game is to win the battle and keep the King protected. Players protect him to extent that even they are ready to lose the Queen for it. Queen seems to be most talented in the whole group, but for the sake of King's safety, Nobody can be spared! 

While connecting with Life.... I had few reflections... reflections are contradictory but yet I feel every relections adds value in a thought process and understanding .. 

1. Why should always King get prme importance, though you have Queen who is actual leader and  exercises all her power to stands in front to protect her kingdom!(Both in Life and Game)!

2. When Victory/Success is seen as important, we may lose all our loved ones (Losing does bot necessarily be losing of lfe, we concentrate on victory which eventually moves us far from family and its togetherness) Is victory more important than loved ones...? 

3. In many instances we act on wrong directions without even questioning (as the knight or queen or bishop move forward on king's instruction without understanding on the risk of the act and loss)... All the competence and skills gets wasted not because of the Leader but because of our decision of being silent and following the wrong instructions. 

4. Leader at most instance need to stay behind the battle and play a role of master mind in directing the team. 

5. Many a times the Lead/Head may not be technically competent(as King), but is if he has a good supportive partner and team he can succeed. 

Both Life and the Chess has similarity. All my reflections does not connect at a time but with various aspect of life at various time frames...

We can decide on how should we win... whether to lose all my loved ones for the sake of game/life or strike a balance.... Finally it's our Game/Life

Just Talk!

I thought confidence to talk needs some expertise and knowledge to do that. My daughter broke my
theory!

My daughter 'Vosaana' is An Year and 4 month old. She is in process of learning to talk and to understand our language.
Yesterday she spoke to me for more than 5 min, She was telling me something which I could hardly interpret or understand. She didn't even know that I could not understand her. She was interested in conveying her thoughts. I could feel her confidence to talk.

She made me to think in following grounds.
If she thinks of how I take it or what would I understand or what would I think of her if she were wrong then she would have never spoke to me or even she would never talk in the future too.

Thanks to the Nature that doesn't give those thoughts and feelings to children when they in their early childhood.

But when we grow we are taught to be right and never to do mistake because when we do mistakes our Self Image would be affected. Soon the learning process goes slow. Whenever there is need to talk our Self Image comes into picture and there is every chance of being speechless to preserve our
Self Image.

We can pretend that we are preserving our image by being speech less but actual inner self gets severe blows every time when we keep shut.

Choice is ours!

My daughter is my Guru who gave me the Insights!

Hurt

My friend hurts me
My parents hurt me
My sibblings hurt me
My wife, my kid, my relatives hurt me!

What is this hurt? Why it hurts me lot!

Inferior Dreams!

My mind says I am inferior! I am not competent to x, y, z! I started sobbing, depressing myself.

When I ask back whom I am inferior of? Where do you think I have to improve? How do you want me to be?

It says to all, in all areas, like every other!

It compares me with every one, for everything. Anyway I should be inferior to somebody in one or other things. But it doesn’t accept it. It compares with all possible.

I see my mom in new way. She compares me with others. Whether that guy is of my class or a level above or even below; she never cares about it. She needs their excellence in me. It has become so habitual that when my mom took back seat my mind started playing her part.

There is other guy within me who tries to help me and protect me from my mind. So he drags me apart from the reality.

He takes me to the dream world, where I am the superior. I would be the hero; all others are inferior to me. I am confident, competent, and would be in position where I can take charge of others.

I love to be there, and slowly start living there; I am totally isolated from real life.

When I realize that I am in my dreams and woke up I see myself left behind and inferior. Again my mind starts blaming me!

Can I start dreaming again to catch up with me?