I AM AFRAID OF?

I was thinking of writing this blog!  Some fear was moving inside my heart.  That stopped me from writing it.  

I was afraid of???

I am trying to give shape to my feeling!!!  

Am i.....? No! Am I ...?

Am i afraid of others criticism?

........... Superficially Yes! But any way i am not going to publish it immediately. I am going to write it, again read then edit then i am going to publish it if it is good.  So i should not think while writing it.  But i am afraid to write it. 

Something is there beyond other's criticism?

Yes... I am not afraid of other's criticism but i am afraid of mine.  This is what i got from my heart. 

I am not ready to accept my failure, my mistake so i am not ready to write so that i would not expose my weakness or my mistake to myself.  That way i am secured. I am protected.

I want to expose me to myself. So i have to write this.  Yes, let me write and post it.  Then review it as a reader and comment it honestly....

regards

Subu

DO I LOVE ME?

Do I love me? It was bogging my mind! I dono! Some times I do… Some times I don’t…There were situations when I loved me most. In some situations I hate me a lot. When I loved me, I was in my full energy, full potential, I delivered my best! I thought the best. I contributed best to what ever I do. I explored myself. So I loved me still more.

But when I hate myself, I was depressed. I don’t know what to do. I doubted my potential. I did mistake in what all I did. Due to that I got negative comments about me from others. That made me hate myself still more. I was depressed. I felt the whole world above me; I was like a small drop which thinks it can’t make much difference as it is so small.

What can I do? I was so blank. I asked myself many times. Then I made a decision to love myself in spite of all odds. I would love me even I do mistake, I was wrong, when others criticize me. It was very hard decision. I struggled many times. I do get upset. But I had to do it for my good. So when ever I was in bad side I did something which I love which boosted my potential.

Then I gave time to myself and spoke to myself about me about my problem, about my positives. I gave more time to think on my positive side so that I am with me. Then slowly started working on my problems. Still working on it! Now I started accepting myself as I am.

After doing so I becoming clear, now when I do wrong I work on solutions rather than wandering around my problem.

Now I am in my journey towards loving me too much…