Kiddy Attempt

I remember about my childhood suicide attempt. When i was 9 or ten year old i was very unhappy because to me it looked like my mom loved her daughter and not me. She often used to scold me. So i took it in that way and decided to suicide.

One way at that age i know was having "kalli Pal".
There was mixed emotion within me, fear of death and wanting to live. But my small mind too had ego! So it decided to take the doze. But instead of "kalli pal" i took "Arali pal". I thought it is a substitute also my inner said i should not die. At last my attempt failed as i dint die.

My next mission was to run away from home. Reason was very serious, i was denying my dinner and my mom forced to have it. That's where i decided i would leave my home as it was too much... i could not even have liberty to skip my dinner!!! I just said i am going out now and started walking out of my house. Again a fear came and i was afraid of outer world.
But my ego dint allow to stay back. So i walked, but slowly because i wished my mom would come and take me back. I was right. I dint even cross my street, my mom ran towards me and took me back.

I am now here to laugh at what i did, i can realize that i was wrong. But many kids are past it.They decide to kill themselves for such a penny things and lose their precious lives. We are here to make them live. But we teach them how to die through media or as a living examples. We pass comments like 'its hard to live', 'i struggled a lot to live', 'i fought for my bread' After hearing and seeing they feel killing self is easy than living.

And another worst thing now is I got my parents with me when i attempted to run away or die or what ever. But unfortunately many kids are alone in their home as both of their parents are working.

So while killing their time they kill themselves too.